what?

May 11 2008
katy perry’s ‘i kissed a girl’: the worst song of the year — yet the most appropriate, i guess, given that its OMG I MIGHT BE BISEXUAL girls-gone-wild-for-male-approval message and atonal stomp is perfectly matched with tila tequila’s ‘will make out with chicks for nebulous bits of fame’ successes of the past 12 months. 
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cranky half-formed thoughts.

the ‘1000 true fans’ model only works if said 1000 ‘true’ fans are also well-off enough to spend $100/year on an artist’s creative output; thus it rewards that same sort of creative output that appeals to the well-off on a larger scale, because the $100 x $100 x $100 ad infinitum becomes too much for the majority of people to handle on their own. (what’s the average income of the world’s populace again?)

and this is but one reason why ‘blog success,’ which appeals to the 1000-true-fan model and which is is overrated for anyone but those who already appeal to/exist within that dominant paradigm, doesn’t really have a lot of meaning to me. it’s kind of like college radio playlisting but on a slightly more sinister scale because the reinforcement loop is much quicker than it was than it was in the days of scanning cmj playlists and people are really into the idea that money can be made off the internet. (and the stuff that rises to the top is way more boring to me personally than, say, the estelle album, but that’s more of an aesthetic gripe than anything else.) it’s not really sustainable (for all the talk about people supporting the band ‘on the road,’ how many bloggers get on guest lists in every city?) and it consistently rewards the safe (unless they’re cornerstone-marketed).

more on this after i finish cleaning the bathroom. (also, if anyone knows about people who have raised this point before, feel free to drop a line.) (and haha, i know i’m one of those people.)

May 09 2008
May 08 2008
May 07 2008
May 05 2008

Yesterday’s Movie Trailer Reactions

OMG. JOSH. I SPENT ALL WEEKEND TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT TRAILER WAS THE FIRST IN THE PRE-IRON MAN REEL. You have seriously made my day. And yeah, fuck this guy, although I wish I lived near a drive-in so I could go see whatever movie this is there. (His movies are really good at drive-ins.)

fireland:

The Happening
J: [upon seeing “M. Night Shyamalan*”] Fuck this guy.

J: [notices with smug satisfaction that they skip his last two movies when reminding us what he’s directed]

J: [remembers fondly this joke about a movie about Helen Keller who can see dead people called “The Fourth Sense”]

J: [after the fifth or sixth scary loud noise] I’m exhausted.

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i was wracking my brain for ways to rhyme 'led zeppelin' with 'sheila mcfeela' before he told me the answer.

  • J. Edward Keyes: did you see the cover of the first joe levy blender?
  • maura johnston: alicia keys?
  • J. Edward Keyes: er, the 2nd
  • maura johnston: no
  • J. Edward Keyes: i will give you a clue
  • maura johnston: white guys?
  • J. Edward Keyes: it rhymes with sheila mcfeela
  • maura johnston: ?
  • J. Edward Keyes: tila tequila
  • maura johnston: WHAT
May 04 2008

the three fortunes i found today while going through a box of old photographs and cards.

1. Consider gain and loss, but never be greedy and everything will be all right.

2. Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

3. Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.

the number 10 shows up on two of them; the other one has the number 20 on it, which i’m going to take as a match what with the adding and all.  never let it be said that i don’t strain for themes!

May 03 2008
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a night at the movies.

iron man: completely absorbing. rbt downey jr possibly my favorite human hero in a while (nb have not seen bale take on batman yet). didn’t realize the stan lee cameo was stan lee until the credits rolled. also, the new ghostface song sounds pretty decent.

mike myers movie in which he basically plays austin powers with an indian accent (trailer): mostly i’m impressed that he managed to work a subplot about the leafs into a movie about an eastern mystic. eh?

you don’t mess with the zohan (trailer): mostly notable for the use of m.i.a.’s “jimmy” and adam sandler using his feet as a weapon (ewww). 

the dark knight (trailer): it’s kind of hard not to flash back to january when watching heath ledger onscreen, if only because he’s so fucking creepy and good. 

indiana jones and the crystal skull (trailer): i really, really want to be karen allen when i grow up.

hershey’s kissables: the candy coating/hershey’s milk chocolate combination made the prospect of eating the entire box a little too cloying at first, but i managed to power through by the time the page 90 moment of darkness rolled around. 

leaving my coat at the theater: ugh, what kind of idiot am i? an overly sugar-rushed one, for starters.