1. this sounds like the grossest thing →

    Ingredients
    1 can shrimp, drained and rinsed
    1/2 cup chili sauce
    8 ounces cream cheese, softened
    1/2 cup mayonnaise
    1/4 cup chopped onion
    2 teaspoons horseradish

    D:

  2. Every time I see this commercial my skin crawls. CRAWLS. Not everything has to be sexy (“sexy”), you know. 

  3. I have had the worst stomachache all goddamn day.

    Spent a bunch of time post-brunch trying to will it out of my body. Then I turned on the Mets-Nationals game just in time to watch Laynce Nix go yard. And then I left my apartment to pick up my laundry and I got the evil eye from a Stone Cold Steve Austin-looking dude driving a van with Tinky Winky strapped to its front grille.

    But I’m still in a pretty OK mood! So, nyah.

  4. Impact! Impact! IMPACT!!!!!!

    Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter, is joining The Huffington Post Media Group and AOL as Strategic Impact Adviser. Said Mr. Stone: “The definition of success is changing as we begin to understand the value of helping others. Arianna and Tim share my vision for aligning corporate resources toward meaningful change,” said Biz Stone. “My goal in partnering with AOL and The Huffington Post Media Group is ambitious but vitally important. Together we will rally companies to think about new ways of doing business, share best practices, and strive for positive impact at all levels — from global to local.”

    Looks like we need to fire up the banned-words-o-matc…

    Also is it just me or is there something sorta odd about asking people to volunteer after they watched their co-workers get axed en masse? Obviously charity work is a good thing, but the timing here seems very off.

  5. “Together, we’ll create even more impactful, engaging, and informative experiences.”

    An excerpt from the email AOL sent to its freelance writers about the company’s plans to “launch a next generation hyper-local, national, and global media company.” That INTERGALACTIC media company has no problem with using the non-word “impactful,” apparently.

  6. is it wrong of me to root for the patriots because i am sick of seeing feet on newspaper covers?

    SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL

  7. "a mint-chocolate-coffee milkshake martini" →

    at what point do we decide that certain restaurateurs are just taking the piss?

  8. internal debates

    “when i wake up in the morning after a particularly brutal night of radiator-borne heat, do i feel more like a side of dried beef or a salt-encrusted pork loin?”